The Importance of Hope - and How to Cultivate It
"I don't think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.”
— Anne Frank
“Hope is like a hummingbird”. Art by Dan May
The Oxford Dictionary defines hope as "a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." For a word as powerful as hope, that definition is kinda boring, huh?
Desiring a specific outcome, that is certainly one definition of hope. We can hope that we'll get that promotion, that a date will lead to a relationship, that we'll win 1st place in the competition, that things will work out in our favor and we will be happy.
What about hope when things are hard? When times are dark? When situations are uncertain, or we are navigating grief, loss, or depression? How do we have hope when countries are at war and innocent people are dying?
This is when holding onto hope can be difficult, and it is even harder to define. For me, cultivating hope has two parts:
1. Being hopeful that the world is a benevolent place, that miracles can happen, that life can be full of love, joy, massive growth, meaningful challenges, and positive experiences,
-and-
2. Hope during dark times means believing that no matter what, I am strong enough to get through it. That I can allow the pain to soften me, and just because things did not work out the way I expected, doesn't mean I can't still find joy in the memories of what was, as I hold space for what is. It means holding onto the vision of the future that I believe is possible. Hope is knowing that in a world where there is so much pain and suffering, there is also laughter, and hugs, and people who are trying to make the world better.
Sometimes we avoid hope because we feel it is too painful, that if we are hopeful, but the outcome turns out negative, we will suffer more for it. This belief is grounded in the idea that it's better to be logical, grounded, realistic. This is a protection mechanism, a way of alleviating the suffering that can come from the fragility of life. Yes, suffering is a part of life, and hope is precisely the thing that can give us the strength to endure it.
Hope reminds us that we do have control over our experience. As we are waiting to hear if we got the job, or for the doctor to call, or to see if our relationship with our partner will last, or if our loved one will recover from their illness---we can choose hope as we navigate the vulnerable space of anticipation and uncertainty. In these moments, hope is our greatest teacher. We don't avoid hope when things are uncertain, we practice hope because it is so.
Another issue arises when we make hope conditional. "I'll be hopeful if ___." or "I'll be hopeful when ___." Yet if we place our hope in external circumstances, we will always be at the mercy of the storm, never knowing which way the tide will turn. Instead, hope is a choice. We choose to be hopeful. We get to decide, in this moment, how we will show up. What is the outcome you are wanting to achieve? What world do you want to see? What kind of person do you want to be? What do you need right now in order to keep going?
Hope requires the courage to be vulnerable and to risk disappointment or sadness. It also requires determination---you must have the strength and the resolve to not let fear, negative thoughts, or other people's opinions get in the way of the vision you are holding in your heart.
I see hope in:
Observing people who have suffered catastrophic injuries still find joy and purpose in life
Witnessing how joyful and resilient children can be, even in the face of tragedy
Seeing a flower growing out of the concrete
That unexpected giggle during a time of grief or depression
Watching my pets do something silly
The interaction with a stranger that brightens my day
Random acts of kindess
Witnessing the great lengths people will go to in order to help others
Remembering that I can make a difference, and no action or prayer is too small
Knowing that love truly can conquer all things, even death
Hope is clinging to and fighting for all that is good in this world. It means choosing love instead of fear.
Hope is a candlelight vigil that we hold inside our hearts. Light the flame and keep it burning. Shield it from the wind.
